Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman smooching

Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Notorious (1946 ) 
(via The Actor's Image)

Valentine's Day kissing

kissing collage

Final scene from the film Cinema Paradiso (1988) - lots of kissing. 

Words of love and romance

Since Valentine's Day is coming soon I decided to compile some written expressions of love.

For those in love:

When I'm with you the whole world melts away.

Because of you I know what love is.

When we dance I feel as though we're alone on the dance floor, everyone else just fades away. All I see is your beautiful face.

My love for you has made me so happy I feel as if my feet hardly touch the ground.

As long as I'm with you the world could end and I wouldn't be scared.

Your touch feels as though an angel is reaching down to me.

Your touch moves me to the core of my being.

The closeness of you, the warmth of your breath, can bring me to the highest place beyond my imagination.

When two lovers must part:

When the winds blow and we are blown with them, perhaps to opposite sides of the sun, the moon will always reflect the glow of these last days we have spent together because of you.

Warmth abounds with your affection and anyone lucky and receptive enough to feel it should be proud to call you friend.

I'll always cherish the time we've spent together.

Advice on being friends with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend

The first and most important thing to remember, if you indeed wish to remain friends, is to let go of any hurt/pain/or unresolved issues. If you don't let go of those feelings they can seep in and destroy any chances you have of being friends. This can be difficult so when you start feeling bugged or hurt about something remind yourself to let it go. The other option would be to try and resolve those old issues but you run the risk of making things worse. Most likely you will have to accept things the way they are and move on. If you can't then you probably aren't in a position to be friends with your ex. It might be helpful at this point to remind yourself what you like about the person and focus on that. Remind yourself why you want to be friends with him/her. You should have good reasons why you want to remain friends, things like you enjoy their company and their friendship, they're fun to be with, they make you feel good about yourself, things like that. If on the other hand your reasons are things like, "I miss him" or " I can't live without her" you might want to reconsider why you wish to be friends.

The other thing you have to get over is seeing your ex with someone else. If you can't be okay with that then it most likely won't work. You may have to put off being friends until you're comfortably in another relationship. And then of course you'll have the added problem of your new boyfriend/girlfriend being jealous of your ex. So don't forget to make sure your new squeeze feels secure before you start hanging with your ex.

The perfect kiss

What is the perfect kiss? Is it about romance, technique or about being in love? The answer is not necessarily all three. And your answer may depend on your gender. Apparently something like 50% of women say kissing is their favorite "intimate" activity. 
But for the perfect kiss the person you're kissing will probably matter quite a bit and of course your technique will matter too. But the "best" technique will depend on you. The fact is what people like in kissing varies quite a bit. What one person calls a good technique another may frown on. There isn't really a "right" answer to technique, within reason. So just as attraction to your partner is paramount, so too is kissing style. When I was twenty I had a girl tell me I was a good kisser, which surprised me. But eventually I realized what she really meant was that she liked the way I kissed. We were right for each other.
So to have the perfect kiss you need the right person (attraction or chemistry - desire), compatible kissing styles, technique and romance. Romance is what separates a good or even a great kiss from the perfect kiss. To truly create the perfect kiss you need intimacy. You need the right words and looks to build that connection soul to soul.

Why did we breakup?

I still miss her. There was so much potential, so much excitement. She was “wicked smart,” only average looking, but of course I didn’t notice at the time. Instead I reveled in her long wavy hair and her Renoir curves.

But I have to ask what happened. Can I face the hard truths? Do I blame myself? She said I wasn’t smart enough. That was her reason. Should I feel inadequate or should I look deeper? So often the reasons someone gives in a relationship for why they are unhappy are far from the heart of the problem, those easy excuses that float effortlessly on the surface like a single leaf floating on a pool, laughably insignificant in relation to the weight of the water.  Those little irksome complaints that can just as easily blow away or accumulate until you’re left with nothing but a stinking cesspool. The little things that make up who someone is, every little quirk, gesture and habit can annoy or delight us. It all depends on your perception and can go either way depending on whether your relationship is at the beginning or the end. Do you adore the object of our affection? Does their light shine bright with your desire, affection or love?  Or, days, months or years later has that desire and affection turned into a spiral of anger, resentment, reproach, frustration and disappointment.

It’s very difficult to delve into those deeper meanings, especially after the fact. But if you want to grow as a person then introspection may be your only path. It has been my experience however that some people will do almost anything other than look into themselves.  They seem to fear their inner self more than death itself. This I believe is part of the human condition.

But in my case, with miss Renoir curves, maybe she simply found me wanting. I lacked sufficient mental horsepower, a relative lightweight. If that was simply the reason is there something I can nonetheless learn from the experience? I suppose the best thing we can take away from a failed relationship is a better understanding of who is right for us. To further fine tune our knowledge of who we are and what kind of person will meet our needs enabling our relationships to function in the best possible way.

Kissing good for allergies!

Not that we need any more reasons to kiss but to add frosting on the cake there is a Japanese study that shows kissing may suppress the allergic reaction.

A 30-minute kissing session may suppress the body's allergic reaction to pollen, providing welcome relief from hay fever, a new study suggests. Scientists based at the Satou hospital in Japan found that kissing worked by relaxing the body and reducing the production of histamine – a chemical that the body produces in response to pollen, causing the sneezing, runny noses and streaming eyes that characterize hay fever attacks. The researchers asked a total of 24 couples, where both partners suffered from hay fever, to spend 30 minutes kissing. Blood samples were taken before and after to compare levels of histamine, and results showed that after the kissing session levels of the chemical were significantly reduced. This was not found to be the case, however, when the experiment was repeated with cuddling but no kissing, with no change in histamine Commenting on the findings, Dr Hajime Kimata, who conducted the research, said: "The results indicate for the first time levels found.that kissing may alleviate allergic responses." It is already known that stress can cause an increased allergic reactions to allergens, suggesting that kissing has a relaxing effect, causing the reduction in histamine levels.(source)

Love Songs

The song "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" is a great love song I think. Adrian Grenier performed the song in a recent episode of Entourage. And it's no doubt been performed many times on TV and in movies. For example Heath Ledger sang it to Julia Styles in the movie "10 Things I Hate About You".

Just for yucks I put together a list (playlist) of love songs. I searched the internet a bit first to get a feel for what other people like and what surprised me is how little consensus there is on love songs. Almost everybody has a different favorite love song so I suppose the list I came up with would just be a sampling.
For the most part I prefer love songs with lots of emotion or passion and I don't care if they're sappy. As an example of my perspective I would use the scene from the movie Dan in Real Life where Dan's middle daughter's boyfriend drives off and the girl goes nuts, she totally goes to pieces. I got a kick out that scene. She's so over the top. But that's how it feels if you really let yourself go and you're a passionate person. That's how an emotional teenager would act it seems to me. Before we become "grown-up" and learn to be in control.

The tail end of this clip shows part of the scene I'm talking about.


Here's my list: